It was the first time I worked on New Years Eve, and why not? Anyone who's anyone works on New Years Eve these days. There's nothing more satisfying than getting paid to participate in a occasion that has been essientially universally reckonised as being shit.
It also gives us the freedom to express how dire the night was for we need not feel ashamed for we didn't resort to handing over 50 quid or sucking off bouncers to get into a club that turned out to be full of fat people.
It was the First New Years Eve since 2004 that I reached the count down as sober as a nun.
The theme for the night was Animal Transformation Fetish -well, it was officially Noah's ark but the result was the same so it may have well have been the former . I managed to put a costume together which, according to Patrick, made me look like a "homoerotic satanic fetish ram" What evs.
Patrick is moody that all I gave him for christmas was an alcohol dependency and Bi-polar disorder. I told him to not be so ungrateful as it's a gift I give all my close friends. He'll be wearing a tin foil hat in no time.
It was the first New Year's Eve I went unkissed, even though I it was the first time I spent all night with my tits out.
It was also the first New Year's Eve I suffered an injury. It appears cuban heels and red stripe sodden floors don't mix. I spent an considerable amount of time getting my face fixed which is a great way of starting the new year. Very British.
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